HERE'S A LAUGH

What's the funniest Letter in the Alphabet?

Photo: R to L: Me, Joby Saad (World Renown Village Idiot), and Karen Knotts (Daughter of Don Knotts and author of Tied up In Knotts) just before the Clean Comedy Contest at the Ice House in Pasadena. 2017

*************

People often ask me how I got into standup comedy at the ripe old age of ???

It was a dark and stormy night . . . I’m pretty sure it was a Saturday night. I pored over an article by Gene Perret in Toastmasters Magazine. He won an Emmy as the joke writer for Bob Hope, Phyllis Diller, and Carol Burnett. The article explained how to put humor into speeches. At the end, Mr. Perret posted his email address . . . silly man.

Wasting no time, I immediately tapped out an email to Mr. Perret, asking him one simple question. If I’m going to become a standup comic, what are the first ten things I should do? Mind you, I never expected an answer.

Sunday morning, I found the list in my in-basket. “Sign up for my comedy writing classes.” was one of the ten suggestions. I did. Gene and I became friends and crossed paths several times. In 2017, I was a finalist in the Clean Comedy Contest at the Ice House in Pasadena. After the contest, we all went out to a big church in Moorpark to do a show. Gene Perret and his whole family attended, and he got to see the fruit of his efforts with me.

One of the hardest parts of getting started was finding out who I would be . . . my persona. Charlie Chaplin was the Tramp. Jack Benny played the violin. George Burns had Gracie as his straight man/woman. Red Skelton was a character comic, with many roles. But who would I be?

I signed up for the National Speaker’s Association Academy to learn about marketing myself. In frustration, I whined, “I’m just an old, retired, Caucasian, heterosexual, school teacher. What’s funny about that?” The young man sitting next to me said, “Aw, Karen, I’ll always think of you as a smokin’ hot 35-year-old.” The whole class broke into laughter. That was it! That has been my opening line ever since. I’m an old gal who sees herself as a smokin’ hot 35-year-old, desperately doing everything possible to stay young. Fits me like a glove.

There is a lot to learn about being funny. I took classes, read books, and listened to the teachings of comics I admire. It’s about timing, delivery, vocal variety, pauses, gestures, and probably, least of all, the words. Remember Johnny Carson? He could kill the audience (that’s a good thing) without saying a word. Just a look. The hard part is, that the comic never knows what is funny until the audience laughs. I’ve written jokes that have fallen flat or gotten a groan. I’ve ad-libbed something unexpected and got a huge unexpected laugh. Sometimes it’s a mystery.

The funniest letter in the alphabet, I learned, is K. And the punch line is always supposed to end with the funniest word. But it’s hard to end every joke with flapjack, hop sack, or patty whack. In fact, I don’t have a single joke like that . . . as I look back. (Did you see what I did there?)

I’m a clean comedian. That means I don’t use foul words or tell jokes about my pink parts. I’m a Christian, so I make sure my jokes are appropriate for any audience. It is proven that women laugh more freely than men, so I thought my ideal audience was older women. A recent audience included some youngsters who were content to look at something on their cell phones. But when I got to the part of my act where I talked about my go-karting, segwaying, surfing, and pole dancing, they put the cell phones down and even did a bit of responsive heckling. I realized that I can appeal to any audience, depending on which material I use.

On a similar occasion, I performed for a bunch of young adults who work in the ski area of Big Sky, Montana. As we entered the venue, my husband said, “I hope you’re not going to tell your jokes about your age. Look at the audience.” They were all in their twenties and thirties. I had to rewrite my whole act in my head before taking the stage, and I got a standing ovation. My husband often reminds me, “Know your audience.”

I’ll soon be performing for hundreds of women at the Pechanga Casino Grand Ballroom. March 27th for the Women’s Health Expo. Sure, my hands will shake a bit. But as soon as I say, “My eyes are playing tricks on me. I still see myself as a smokin’ hot 35-year-old” and everyone cracks up because they are also delusional when it comes to age, then we’ll be having fun together. And the show will go on.