FRIENDSHIPS

How do they come about?

I heard a great sermon on FRIENDSHIP in church this morning, and it got me thinking. My idea of friends has always been, “anyone I meet.” My dad never met a stranger, and I don’t either. But . . . are they friends?

My grandson is the same way, but then I correct him and say, “Those are acquaintances.” Once you’ve met up with the same person several times on purpose, then they graduate into the friend category. Some people are so cautious about friendships, they only make room for one or two. I throw the doors open and let anyone in.

I say “good morning” to people I pass by in the store, post office, parking lot, or bank. I start up conversations with other shoppers. I know I am an extreme case of extrovertion (if that’s a word), but it warms my heart when someone who is walking with their face down, looks up, smiles, and returns my greeting. I grew up in tiny towns where you wouldn’t dare walk by someone without greeting them. Others have told me you wouldn’t dare do that in a big city. I want to start an epidemic of people who greet each other as they pass.

Gosh, that was a rabbit hole I didn’t plan on. Friendship! That’s the topic, Karen!

I don’t know where this theory came from, but it was interesting.

Picture an inverted triangle divided into four levels.

1. Top level is the largest and it is for friends you share space with.

For example, I share space with people at the gym, my neighborhood, and my church. I know I’m the exception, but I introduce myself to people at the gym and try like crazy to learn and remember their names. A couple of them have invited me to coffee or lunch, but our friendship mostly stems from our time in the gym before and after our workout and knowing we’ll see each other another day. We have fitness in common.

My neighborhood. Some people have no idea who their neighbors are and couldn’t care less. I take fruit, pies, invitations, and visit regularly with at least eight neighbors. We share the neighborhood, and we look out for each other. We have the good of our neighborhood in common.

My church or any other organization I belong to that meets regularly. I have a choice to either walk in, sit in the back, and leave early, or come early, introduce myself to others, and spend time getting acquainted.

Sharing contact information builds relationships. My granddaughter teases me because I always have business cards ready to hand to a new acquaintance. We have something in common, because that’s why we’re there, and we’re sharing space. Let’s connect.

2. The next level are friends with whom you share interests.

My main interests are faith, writing, and comedy.

I belong to a church, three writer’s organizations, and the Christian Comedy Association. The church is in the next town; the writer’s organizations take me to yet another city or a monthly zoom connection of a meeting farther away. Building friendships on Zoom is difficult, but the CCA is national and has brought about friendships across the country and Canada. We share common interests.

3. The third, and smaller level is friends shared intentionality.

These are friendships you intentionally nurture.

These are friends you make an effort to call, email, film a Marco Polo, write a letter,

have coffee or lunch with on a regular basis. Get togethers like these are outside of church, group meetings, and other group events. These friendships grow when someone says, “We should get together sometime.” I say, “When? Let’s put it on our calendar.” Too often people walk away saying, “Sure, sometime.”

I have a couple of friends I’ve had lunch with for four decades. And a couple more recently I’ve added to my calendar.

4. The smallest group are those friends who have a shared mission.

I contend that the majority of people have never zeroed in on their mission in life.

In 1978, I gave my life to Jesus Christ. He forgave my sins and gave me a faith that has never wavered. He also gave me a heart for the salvation of others. Evangelism is my mission, and there is precious few who aspire to accept that mission. I have three friends, two men and one woman who not only have a heart for the lost but are willing to tell the good news to anyone who will listen.

I was going to add some photos of my friends, but I didn’t have their permission and there are many from all different walks of my life and theirs. Does this list, make you think about your friendships? I hope it reminds you of someone you need to reach out to. Or maybe there are areas of your life that would call for some new friendships?

I’d love to hear your thoughts about friendship.

Warmly,

Karen